Crowbarred's Mellow Mix Volume 1: MM Vol 1 - 028

MM Vol 1 #028

Everclear

"Father Of Mine"

(1997)
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Genre:Alt Rock

art by gilad

When i walked out on my family 10 years ago the thought of consequence never entered my mind. Till this song.
I'm not gonna go into detail of the whys and the whats as it happens to more of us than we care to notice. But back in '97 i made a life move and about the same time this song by Everclear came out with these words ...

"Father of mine, Tell me where have you been, You know I just closed my eyes, My whole world disappeared, Father of mine, Take me back to the day When I was still your golden boy, Back before you went away"

I had two young sons aged 10 and 9 who i left behind, i didn't want to, but i was bought up to believe that children always stays with the mother and to be honest i was dying inside not being with them, even to the point to this day i still carry the scars because of it. Now to say what decision i made is not to be right or wrong, i felt that life was slipping by and if i was to make a stand and be "what you want to be" then i had to do it now. So i did.

"Father of mine, Tell me where did you go, You had the world inside your hand, But you did not seem to know, Father of mine, Tell me what do you see, When you look back at your wasted life, And you don't see me"

After 10 years i learnt one important thing in life and its about the comment "Life is always greener on the other side" Let me tell you now, Mythbusters would chalk this up as a false claim. Just because your neighbour's grass is greener, doesn't mean you wont land feet first in shit jumping the fence getting there.

"I was ten years old, Doing all that I could, It wasn't easy for me, To be a scared white boy, In a black neighborhood, Sometimes you would send me a birthday card, With a five dollar bill, I never understood you then, And I guess I never will"

I never wanted to be my Father, he left me when i was two, but i couldn't help re-tracing e v e r y . s i n g l e wrong step he took. So i have come to the conclusion, maybe the path you stride in life is already mapped out in the same direction. So, to my sons, i say, be careful where you judge and tread at the same time. Because it might lead you where you don't want to be either one day.

"Then he walked away, Daddy gave me a name, Then he walked away, My dad gave me a name. Then he walked away, My daddy gave me a name, Then he walked away, My daddy gave me a name, Then he walked away, Then he walked away, Then he walked away"

My life is great now, my life with my sons are close. But my life was great then too ..... i just sort of took 10 years off to go back to where i started. With them. Life is not to be taken as granted. Its to far complex than that.

"I will never be safe, I will never be sane, I will always be weird inside, I will always be lame, Now I'm a grown man, With a child of my own, And I swear I'm not going to let her know, All the pain I have known"

Ain't that the truth.

This song has a crowbarred rating of 87 out of 108 pts

EVERCLEAR - FATHER OF MINE
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